365 days TOGETHER! wE aRe OnE BIG fAmIlY

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Dear Diary..

my life is in a mess.. i fail math agains.. i simply useless.. i dun even deserve to b in express.. i shld go to acad.. my life is in pieces.. my heart shatter.. no one faults.. its my doing.. i am a sucker.. i use up all the chances.. wen i no i fail my hearts hurt.. cos the worst will happens.. mayb i shld just jump down and end everything.. i dun wan to lyk tis.. walk to the corridoor during breaks.. it seem so high.. i'm scare bud i even more scare abt tis kind of life.. i hate math.. bud anyone understand? to dem i'm simply stupid.. i study.. i do.. bud its sucks.. i cant.. no more.. i'm tired.. can u carry on wifout me?

acting happy during pe.. does my life hab to let me keep on put a fake smile on me.. i'm tired.. i just fail fail fail.. nth.. life just hurt.. wen i fail.. no one cares.. tcher blame me fer not studying.. everyone.. i no everyone ard me feel sad.. do u think i'm happy?myab eating sleeping pills die easier.. which is their suggestions.. hais.. i get to sleep and carry on wif my other life..

i had a makeover life.. a real madeover.. everything is over.. no more.. future gone.. everything.. wen i'm sad will u stop blaming me? i'm so scare of getting the result.. it push me to the end even more.. i scare.. i nv feel so scare b4.. is i scare of losing u or hte result? does it still matter now? cos i think i'm alone..

i nv blame anyone.. its my doings.. without me u will go on much easy.. u dun hab to worry abt me.. dun hab to scare i smoke.. dun hab so much so much worries.. isnt going off is better? why.. i had to force u to leave me.. my hearts breaks.. it ace as well.. i hate exam.. can i had a ez life? can i die much ez..i need u.. bud i dun qualify to hab u..

hope u will carry on ur life.. and mine? suan le.. u still hab min and ying.. u shld b happy.. me? i'm alone.. let it b.. mayb u or others might think i'm gaining sympathy.. be it.. nth matters now.. nth.. if living is so stress.. i dun think i will scare of blood and death/... how much i hope tml the car will just went on.. wadever it is.. i wan u bud i believe u wun wan me anymore.. tkc.. its fate.. 9 mths? no more.. no more..

chen chen.. i appreciate wad u done fer me.. bud i just hate u.. just let it b.. i shall not change fer anyone.. since u might dun wan me.. change efer wad? i shall go back to hu i use to b if i hab a dark worlds.. jon, dun ever leave me now.. bee too..

thinking and thinking.. no matter wad i nv pufff agains.. let it b.. broken hearts i cant pick it up anymore.. will u be less worry if i say i wun puff no matter wad? let it b.. i dun wan to stress u or cry agains.. i'm scare.. scare of the changes in my life.. bud wad else beside accepting it and adpt to the chance.. thanks.. and welcum to my life..

you left me a wonderful memories that i will never forget.
;4:15 PM