365 days TOGETHER! wE aRe OnE BIG fAmIlY

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Dear Diary..

i do not know what happen now, i felt a sense of been cheated and betray. why, why how much i have done for you is never good enough. why did whatever all those amath-er ppl done, is always the best.. the one that brighten up your days? why bluff me about it? i have so many why why why, but tis is the first time i felt so cheated and no trust in you.

i start working on tis card since 9pm, and til 2am we finish it.. it sound so craps to do someone a card when he's just flying off for a holiday. but we just hope when you saw it, you will at least smile. all of us start preparing and getting ready at 2am.. took a cab at 3 am.. reach airport at 330am. i mean where on earth is there such a stupid person who will wait and do smth for someone already known, unappreciative. my poor friends due to my idea have to go along with me, you know they too hope to see you in the airport smiling at the little effort we put in before you left for this little break of yours.

no doubt, i felt stupid.. stupid than anyone leaving on this earth. believe that you wuld never lied. i wait til the last plane that flew to aust gate closed. still i dun believed you will lie to me about the timing. mayb is cos i am just too over-confident that you will never do that to me so i still have this little trust til 6am today.

i start asking them, "will we see him today?" all my dear friends, who are kind hearted enough, not to let me down when i am feeling low told me: " yes, we will. we will see him, cos he wuld never lied to anyone." i still have the little hopes in me to see you smiling with the cards and stuff we stay up the whole night for you. but well, perhaps if we are too enthu and led to you always think it common for us to do that, so being appreciative, is you want anot not depend on you shld be appreciative that time and effort is pent on you. perhaps, in your this whole life, you never know the few of us have done such things to you, cos i have no intention at all to raise it up in your life.

dear teacher, i really envy you, like what your collegues feel too. your poor students alway believed that tis man, who is so respectable will never ever lied to us. will spared a thought on how we felt. but is it suppose to be like this? the little trust you left in them and me made me still cant accept the fact that: " peiching, you are a fool!" i cant you know. when i am leaving the airport, i told myself " they say he wun lie, means he dun lie.. will see him de, mayb he just didnt arrive?" i felt so dissapointed n your doing, no doubt, you are my teacher, but is it on the plane a smsed will kill you? telling us, you already on the plane? perhaps, i am really the fool.

that's the first time you lie to me. due to good intentions or wadever it wuld be, i'm really serious to tell you that, i am hurt from the start you lied to me. i felt all my poor friends suffer cos of wad you said. or rahter, what you have lied. i hope, you do leave peacefully, with your conscience clear enough to enjoy your this break in aust. or your heart have no burden at all if we will be there in the airport like idiots searching high and low for you. i hope, you in this life will never regret your action. but i am just kind to tell you that, your action made 6 students lost hope and trust in you and greatly disapointed in you too. you treated us like a fool, i wun revenge on such stuff, cos i hope, you are REALLY enjoying your break, cos when you flew back, i have no intentions of speaking to you or wadever it will be. no doubt, i am stupid.

i got to admit that, my heart filled with hatred, dissapointment, upset and hurt. but that's your decision.. to lied to me.. and i am just doing what my heart told me to, "go to the airport to wait for you" i lived with no regrets, cos i already done mine. but if you really can dun bother about the 6 of us, treating us like a big bunch of fools, which you might be enjoying doing so, den i envy myself, at least i live with no regrets and conscience cleared. but just to tell you that, thigs come and go, since you didnt wished to treasure us, so be it.. mayb i really so fan. thankyou ah.

if today is shaomei and gang go, will you still avoid like that? i doubt so, i'm not being bias but somehow, you are.. you prefer the amath-er to us. well, wadever, i dun give a fucking damn about it liao. i just realised i am so stupid. haahaha.. ppl laughing at our action, i laughing at my own stupidness. if you happened to know the truth, and you are not regret, den i really judge a book by it's cover. =)

thanks for letting me become the fool once again. realising there no one can be really trusted in this whole wide world. madeing me wait since 330-6am. staying up whole night just to do things for you. thank you. you made me felt how fools supposed to feel. i do not wan anything from you now, regardless of nougurt of wad, i do not need. cos i hate ppl treat me like a fool and still happily flying up there. if i am the greatest the fool in world, than you are the one result me to become this fool. sending you off anot dun matter to you, but pls spare a thought that no one share the identical feelings with you. if might be a lame shit to you, but how about us? the littles ones out there waiting for you. i guess you never know.

my poor friends are so tired and suffering in camps, HQ and training.. pls have a good rest, no matter wad, you ppl are impt to me.. every thing you all say, do made a different.. at least i know, our friendship is worthwhile all this while. =) i love you ppl. jian lin, rai, siying. min, nysa, joachim. thanks, i know you ppl tried hard to cheer me up. .worry about me.. thanks.. i love you guys too..

joachim, since he choose to lied to us, let it be.. you have me, i have you, we have them.. =) 6am? he told me that too.. well, joa.. thnaks. anyway, he flew off 9pm ytd night.

may you really enjoy this holidays. i stil lthinking if i wanan be part of the bbq thingy, i have seriously enough. perhaps, that will be my last project with you. no doubt, you and others out there are the same, treating me like a fool ever before. thankyou.

i thought we do have the mutual trust.

you left me a wonderful memories that i will never forget.
;7:48 PM