you left me a wonderful memories that i will never forget.
how am i feeling right now? confuse. irritated. dilemma.angry. why? why after such a long long time i still unable to put everything down. wad does godpa independence got to mean? keep everything to myself or sloved everything on my own. how can i be independence? how can i stop relying myself on godpa? how can i control my temper. how can i treasure my time with all my frene? how how how? how can i stop ppl from talking behind my back? how can i beg ppl to stop back stabbing me? how can i allow myself to balance everything? how can i just ask them to SHUT UP? i am angry at myself for being useless. i am full of jealousy right now. why is everyone out there a pair? i am confuse of the defination of " independence". i am irritated by how ppl treat one another. i am in a dilemma of wad to do. i am so fukking super feel like stopping everything at this very moments and just ask everyone to keep your mouth SHUT! i need a moment of peace. i need a long rest. i need to understand how people and people relationship work. i need to know i really want to know.by keeping stuff from your frene is it a act of independence? by not sharing everything is it wad godpa meant as independence? by not bothering someone you thought will always be there does it mean independence? i really dunno. wad is independence? wad does godpa want me to behave like to be really independence?
just remember some thing tht me and godpa done in the past. last time i always address him as mr koh. and never will i dreamt he's my godpa. everything just changes as time goes by. i rmb sec1, i was so deeply in love and keep creating trouble for coucillor. and i have this chance to stand outside the office. and of cos mr koh tht time do see me alot of time. and til then, i dunno he already know my name and stuff. and my love for someone is so great tht the whole school eventually knew about it. but well, it already over isnt it? history.
when i am in sec2. i am still the leader of the class and everything will depend on me. tht time, i always got suspended. and mr koh and mr chui is one of those tht i really dislike. i alway curse mr koh tht he better dun come and disturb me and stuff and all those rubbish lah. and i rmb one day after home econs, i was using phone in class and its self study time. mr koh was like screaming at me so super loud tht i wasnt allow to use the phone. so he confiscated my phone and hand it over to mr ivan wong. and this super nice mr koh made me wait til 4pm + before i am allow to get back my phone. but i am always lucky, whenever my phone got confiscated, there's always ways i can get it back. ;) so this incident is so clearly rmb by both of us and until now we still rmb abt it. hahaha.. sec3, he taught my 2 babes amath. and i also became more well behaved and i always great him as and well i see him. and tht the time he start addressing me good girl. went to cambodia and knew him better. came back i was like learning math from him and soon, he became my godpa. tht's like from really enemy to now, father & daughter. i never regret knowing him but sometime, he do get onto my nerves like how i drive him nuts. ;) after knowing him, things start to get better. whenever i got probs, he will be the first i think of. so soon.. i rely heavily on godpa to resolved all small and big matters in school, outside, realtionship or even when i got punished he wil lstill be there to save me. so this result in my overly depending on him. but well, now i am learning the hard way out.
math from 7-12. godpa was as usual lame. ask me to act and stuff. but today is under ms julie tan. brought her dou hua. and ms tan help me alot in my math again. if ppl know as usual, because she is mr koh helping hand so as usual i will gave her face and wun made trouble. so done both papers in 3 days. congrats. and godpa got MOE EXCEL and was not free to help.
went to shaomei place. it's really great. and knew about her family background. quite saddening. no wonder wad godpa told me is the truth. (",) hmm, and went to party world and have pepper lunch den follow by going to esplanane to chit chat and stuff. went home and around 9+ and reach home ard 10+. was like hiding everything within myself. dun feel like sharing anymore. i am really tired of everything. anyway, to celebrate yongwei bdae. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE! *monday you will die flat.*
anyway, ms julie tan was great, she was able to suan yongwei til yongwei kept his mouth shut. ;) i forgot to off the aircon ytd. from 130pm to this afternoon 12pm. heh heh heh.. got a lecture from godpa. wahahahs. i wanna sleep liao. godpa was made to promise to buy kinder surprise. cos ms juli tan praise me and he say i am a gd gd gd gd gd gd gd gd gd gd BOY? idiotic. anyway, may some more stuff allow me to feel happier. i am really feeling quite down nowadays. ;x
clap programme. SHIT LAH! i dunno wad to do already. overly participating. ohwells, no comments. nothing i done are ever right. thanks gab for realising i am overly stressed. but to put everything down last min isnt my working style. hais, may this be the LAST event tht i have to help. i am really superb tired babes. love ppl around me. will i be a bother to godpa. mayb i know i am~ ;)
;11:03 PM
PROFILE
PEICHING
fifteen
25April
Greenridge sec
4E3
CRAVINGS
pass my maths tests
turtle paradise
ADORES
4E3
Precious*
* riza .
* elaine .
* zhihui .
* xuanmin .
* beelin .
* kokheng .
* atikah .
* jon .
* shaun .
* joachim .
* preena .
* colleen .
* Lya .
* connie .
* felicia .
* alexis .
* nysa .