365 days TOGETHER! wE aRe OnE BIG fAmIlY

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dear Diary..

this the letter from us to mr koh. =D

To: Mr Steven Koh

PS: ENJOY YOUR JELLY WHILE READING THIS!!

We would like to say thank you to you, for giving us freedom. We are truly sorry for not completing our mission of looking after Samuel. Even though nysa is doing on her accord. We know that you pinned a lot of hope on us and hope we would coach each other and walk together as a cohort but sorry, we failed as his friend and classmate.

Nysa:

You don’t know that I’m doing all this work all this while rite? But I think you might have guessed it sammy have been sitting beside me when we are having maths lesson in the AVA. I guessed peiching have told you the whole story already. All this have been happening since the 2nd half of last year. I treat him like a brother. For you info, sammy will do all his work when I mentioned Diana’s name. His WHOLE heart is with Diana. Now, I can’t do anything liao. Since he mentioned that he knows what he’s doing. I am not on talking terms to him since rai won’t let me talk to him as she thinks that I’m wasting my time. I thought it over, I think the same way too. Let Diana do her own way. Diana told rai that she knows what she’s doing. So it think its fine lorr.. I think it all started when I found out that he’s been very close to Diana lately and I did not want history to repeat itself so I decided not to talk to him since he got a new guardian mah. I got nobody to turn to, so I told peiching. Since I know that you gave her the responsibility to take care of him. So I think she should know about this. After all this happen suddenly both of us fall sick at the same time. This is a coincidence not a planned one. I think both of us need a break. I have to really focus on my studies now. I feel that I’m helpless and lost but can’t give up because my mum really spends money on me. Thanks for coming to our rescue from going to Hougang bungalow. hehe.. Appreciate it a lot. All I can do now is wish him “all the best”. I don’t want to end our friendship but I think it’s too much for now. Need time to recover. I’m scared that he’ll go back to his old ways. He’s not in gang anymore. Just scared that he’ll join back.. Thanks Mr Koh.

Peiching:

Godpa, I don’t know how to say sorry to you but I really can’t continue doing it anymore. Thanks for giving me a chance to play as Samuel’s guardian angel, I love and appreciate this chance but soon, I realize that I’m not the one that he’ll work hard for and preserver for. I know I’m useless and I felt truly regretted for giving you this “false hope” that he’ll work hard. But sorry, I failed as your god-daughter and student. Peer-coaching is not my job. I really love and hope to see Samuel excel but I can’t. I decided to give up not because he’s useless, but I’m the useless one. No one understand how I felt towards this matter except you n nysa. Maybe, its time to end all this things, I have enough and not good enough to take care or coach him. Effort and time was spent on him but no result shown. He’s a kite, I don’t know if I should pull him harder or let go the string. The kite is flying but the person flying the kite doesn’t know what to do. This kite should fly high but I don’t know how to let it fly. Maybe like what you say, cut the string off, let it drop? I really don’t know what to do, I didn’t want to let him go just like that but this kite is beyond my control. Am I pulling him to tight that the string break halfway or I’ve just been holding on to the string because you asked me to? Thoughts went through my mind, every night, I can’t sleep. Even dreaming also dreamt about him. But what I have done don’t matter to him anymore. I decided to hand over the string to someone who has the passion for him. I can’t trust him anymore, even that day when both of us are sick, he still gets into trouble. I have done all I can perhaps I need a break to think through everything. There’s just too much things on my mind right now. Samuel, friends, family, I can’t take it anymore. I used to be confident telling you, he’s the best but now I don’t know what to say or do. Because, we drift apart further, the heart attack he always give me is more than enough. I just hope that I can relax my mind and think through the next step. The stress and pressurize have on me is too much for me to take. Thanks for being so understanding about this and Godpa, I appreciate your concern and care. Thank you for being there with me when I fall. This time, I really fall badly. I’m a great failure. I’m sorry! Love ya, Godpa.

Thanks for spending time reading this. We will now formally hand over Samuel to you. Please be patient and guide him through his darkness. Both of us have already done our best in handling in this matter even though nysa is doing it on her own accord. Samuel is actually a good boy, it’s just that we think he’s lack of attention at home so he’s desperately seeking for attention in school. We hope you’ll act as his dad and feed him with parental care. Make him report to you about his whereabouts. But nysa thinks that he won’t care. Feel free to share your sadness to us. No matter what is it we will always behind you. hehe.. Thanks for taking up this challenge, we are waiting to hear good news from you soon. Don’t check in into Hougang bungalow okay. =) thanks for giving us a chance to find back the smile we both have lost for so long.

Lots of Love:
Chingz & Nysa
29072006

you left me a wonderful memories that i will never forget.
;7:22 PM